A big part of feeling happy is to love one self. This comes from admiration for self. Admiration for self comes from admiring the things we do, when we feel confident about our future. This is what the first part of my Social Mastery EBook is dedicated to and this is what I teach in my personal coaching session along with other skills to approach women. (If you haven't read it I highly recommend reading it. remember it comes with 60 days 100% money back guarantee)
You don’t have to be successful to feel successful. You have to believe that you are on the part to success. For this you need to have a detailed plan to achieve your goals. When you believe you will be successful it comes across in your body language, tonality etc. When people ask you questions you have more definite answers and this conveys that you know what you want. When you ask questions to self you have definite answers and this makes you feel confident and relaxed.
Here is an exercise that will help you feel confident about your career excerpted from Social Mastery E Book:
Take a piece of paper and define your primary goal.
- Write what you want to be in your life. It needs to be very specific like 'I want to be a sailor or a juggler'. Don't just say businessman or wealthy. If you want to be a businessman then you need to know details like 'I want to start a steel plant.'
- Once you know your goal, write down why you want to be who you want to be. For example: 1) I want to be a film maker because I believe films make statements. I want to be able to tell the world how rough my childhood was and how I survived. 2) I want to have a steel plant because there is a never ending demand of steel and I will always have business.
- Now write down where you are on the road to accomplishing your dreams. What steps you are taking to reach the goal? Are there any hurdles? How do you plan to overcome them? For example, 'I want to be a singer and so I go for auditions during day time. This prevents me from a stable day job so I am going to be a bartender to pay my bills until I hit it big.'
- How will you know when you reach this goal? A friend/mentor of mine owns one of the largest breweries in India. He started production with no roof. He had a goal measure that the day his monthly sales reached 10,000 crates he will be considered successful. He currently sells more than that each day. But you get the idea. You need a concrete measurement to know you have succeeded with the stated goal.
- How will you feel when you accomplish your goal?
- How will the world or people around you benefit when you reach your goal? IE: 1) I like to share my resources with friends. So when I have more resources I can help more friends. 2) I donate 10% of my income to an orphanage so when I make more money I will be able to contribute to bigger social causes. 3) My films will help people forget about their stress and have fun for the two hours while they are in the theater.
Do the same with your dating goals. Now you have definite goals and definite plan to follow. Read this every morning for the next 2-3 weeks and/or at night before going to bed so you can internalize it. Now when you go out you will be able to confidently present yourself and I will cover that in the next part. Some of you will also change your goals with time. At that point go back and the exercise again so you feel confident with your new goal.
Now when you go out to meet people or women you will overall feel accomplished or on the path to success. You know what your goals are and you know how to achieve them. There are two goals/needs or desires, whatever you wanna name them, that affect human beings strongly. First is the emotional need or the need to love and be loved. To be admired by other people and to feel wanted. The second is to be financially secure, earn respect in the professional field and have stability in life.
The above exercise if done as described will help you feel secure in both personal/emotional and financial/social arenas. Even if you are not there yet you know you will be because you have made a detailed plan. You have thought of alternates to reach your goal/s and you have an intermediate plan to support yourself while you work to accomplish your goal/s.
Now when you interact with people you will speak from a different place and a different perspective. You will be calm and at ease inside and this will reflect in your speech and body language.
I will continue tomorrow...
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