Now that you have discovered ways to feel confident and secure in few but very important areas of your life it is time to convey or display your personality to people including other women. Of course we all know that most women are generally attracted to successfully guy because success is generally associated with success and confidence. But if monetary or fiscal success was the only measurement women used then no struggling musician would ever get laid but we all know they get lot of attention from women. One reason is the musicians passion in their career and a visible proof that he is working to achieve success. This attracts women.
Most people start acting borderline arrogant when they want to convey success or power. They would pretend like they are the most important people. They learn never to give just so they are not perceived needy. They do not share space because they want to demonstrate they have the power to not share.
In my opinion if you really want to demonstrate power and success do the opposite of the list above. Share your space, be more polite and courteous. I always give my students the example of a beggar. Beggars don't give they take. When was the last time you saw a beggar giving to a rich guy? When was the last you a saw a rich guy taking from a beggar. But we all see on daily basis a rich man giving to a beggar. (By using the phrase rich man I am not indicating a millionaire but simply a guy more fortunate than the beggar.) We share what we have in abundance. By giving respect and power to other people you demonstrate you have enough power and respect to share.
A friend of mine works for a famous Hollywood studio. She always tell me that a new celebrity or a teenage artist are very hard to handle. They come into the studio and demand too much attention. They act like the whole world revolves around them. They command respect from everyone. She personally hates being around them or spending anytime with them. On the contrary, she mentions, she loves when Clint Eastwood or Will Smith makes an appearance to the studio. They are very warm, treat everyone with respect, and ask lot of questions to who ever they interact with. They try to make other people feel important. They do this because they are secure. they know they are famous and they do not need to remind anyone of the fact. On the contrary they want to make other people feel happy because they themselves are happy and fortunate.
People form an opinion of you not from what you do but how you do? A woman is not going to think you are needy because you bought her a drink but only if you bought her the drink with the expectation that now she has to spend time with you. In fact few months back I was coaching a student and did a demo set. It turned out that the girl I approached was celebrating her birthday that night. Later I sent a free round of drinks to her group which was only four people. Now I had no expectations from her when I sent the drinks so I did not come across as needy but a cool social guy.
Few weeks later I was coaching the same student at a different venue and a girl from that group came and opened me. (I could not recognize her and feel bad about it but unfortunately it is really hard to remember all the faces when you go out meeting women five nights a week). She then reminded me of the evening where I bought her cousin a drink for her Birthday. Not only did she remember me but she also remembered by students name and it brought his value up in the set that he was engaged in. So here is an example of how me buying drinks did not come across as needy instead it helped me build value.
I also think it is very important at this point to mention that you need to have boundaries. Once in a while a woman might try to push you and see if she can take advantage of you. You buy her a drink and she wants to see if you will buy her a bottle next followed by a house and a Ferrari. Say no to the next drink unless you want to do it out of your free will. Remember you are sharing at your free will and not because it is expected of you. She can think you are an asshole for not buying her the next drink but that is not your problem.
I will write the final part tomorow. In the mean while start working on this exercise as soon as possible.
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