Is Your Past Affecting You? Part-5

Now that you have discovered ways to feel confident and secure in few but very important areas of your life it is time to convey or display your personality to people including other women. Of course we all know that most women are generally attracted to successfully guy because success is generally associated with success and confidence. But if monetary or fiscal success was the only measurement women used then no struggling musician would ever get laid but we all know they get lot of attention from women. One reason is the musicians passion in their career and a visible proof that he is working to achieve success. This attracts women.

Most people start acting borderline arrogant when they want to convey success or power. They would pretend like they are the most important people. They learn never to give just so they are not perceived needy. They do not share space because they want to demonstrate they have the power to not share.

In my opinion if you really want to demonstrate power and success do the opposite of the list above. Share your space, be more polite and courteous. I always give my students the example of a beggar. Beggars don't give they take. When was the last time you saw a beggar giving to a rich guy? When was the last you a saw a rich guy taking from a beggar. But we all see on daily basis a rich man giving to a beggar. (By using the phrase rich man I am not indicating a millionaire but simply a guy more fortunate than the beggar.) We share what we have in abundance. By giving respect and power to other people you demonstrate you have enough power and respect to share.

A friend of mine works for a famous Hollywood studio. She always tell me that a new celebrity or a teenage artist are very hard to handle. They come into the studio and demand too much attention. They act like the whole world revolves around them. They command respect from everyone. She personally hates being around them or spending anytime with them. On the contrary, she mentions, she loves when Clint Eastwood or Will Smith makes an appearance to the studio. They are very warm, treat everyone with respect, and ask lot of questions to who ever they interact with. They try to make other people feel important. They do this because they are secure. they know they are famous and they do not need to remind anyone of the fact. On the contrary they want to make other people feel happy because they themselves are happy and fortunate.

People form an opinion of you not from what you do but how you do? A woman is not going to think you are needy because you bought her a drink but only if you bought her the drink with the expectation that now she has to spend time with you. In fact few months back I was coaching a student and did a demo set. It turned out that the girl I approached was celebrating her birthday that night. Later I sent a free round of drinks to her group which was only four people. Now I had no expectations from her when I sent the drinks so I did not come across as needy but a cool social guy.

Few weeks later I was coaching the same student at a different venue and a girl from that group came and opened me. (I could not recognize her and feel bad about it but unfortunately it is really hard to remember all the faces when you go out meeting women five nights a week). She then reminded me of the evening where I bought her cousin a drink for her Birthday. Not only did she remember me but she also remembered by students name and it brought his value up in the set that he was engaged in. So here is an example of how me buying drinks did not come across as needy instead it helped me build value.

I also think it is very important at this point to mention that you need to have boundaries. Once in a while a woman might try to push you and see if she can take advantage of you. You buy her a drink and she wants to see if you will buy her a bottle next followed by a house and a Ferrari. Say no to the next drink unless you want to do it out of your free will. Remember you are sharing at your free will and not because it is expected of you. She can think you are an asshole for not buying her the next drink but that is not your problem.

I will write the final part tomorow. In the mean while start working on this exercise as soon as possible.

Is Your Past Affecting You? Part-4

A big part of feeling happy is to love one self. This comes from admiration for self. Admiration for self comes from admiring the things we do, when we feel confident about our future. This is what the first part of my Social Mastery EBook is dedicated to and this is what I teach in my personal coaching session along with other skills to approach women. (If you haven't read it I highly recommend reading it. remember it comes with 60 days 100% money back guarantee)

You don’t have to be successful to feel successful. You have to believe that you are on the part to success. For this you need to have a detailed plan to achieve your goals. When you believe you will be successful it comes across in your body language, tonality etc. When people ask you questions you have more definite answers and this conveys that you know what you want. When you ask questions to self you have definite answers and this makes you feel confident and relaxed.

Here is an exercise that will help you feel confident about your career excerpted from Social Mastery E Book:

Take a piece of paper and define your primary goal.

• Write what you want to be in your life. It needs to be very specific like 'I want to be a sailor or a juggler'. Don't just say businessman or wealthy. If you want to be a businessman then you need to know details like 'I want to start a steel plant.'
  


• Once you know your goal, write down why you want to be who you want to be. For example: 1) I want to be a film maker because I believe films make statements. I want to be able to tell the world how rough my childhood was and how I survived. 2) I want to have a steel plant because there is a never ending demand of steel and I will always have business.
  


• Now write down where you are on the road to accomplishing your dreams. What steps you are taking to reach the goal? Are there any hurdles? How do you plan to overcome them? For example, 'I want to be a singer and so I go for auditions during day time. This prevents me from a stable day job so I am going to be a bartender to pay my bills until I hit it big.'
  


• How will you know when you reach this goal? A friend/mentor of mine owns one of the largest breweries in India. He started production with no roof. He had a goal measure that the day his monthly sales reached 10,000 crates he will be considered successful. He currently sells more than that each day. But you get the idea. You need a concrete measurement to know you have succeeded with the stated goal.
  


• How will you feel when you accomplish your goal?
  


• How will the world or people around you benefit when you reach your goal? IE: 1) I like to share my resources with friends. So when I have more resources I can help more friends. 2) I donate 10% of my income to an orphanage so when I make more money I will be able to contribute to bigger social causes. 3) My films will help people forget about their stress and have fun for the two hours while they are in the theater.

Do the same with your dating goals. Now you have definite goals and definite plan to follow. Read this every morning for the next 2-3 weeks and/or at night before going to bed so you can internalize it. Now when you go out you will be able to confidently present yourself and I will cover that in the next part. Some of you will also change your goals with time. At that point go back and the exercise again so you feel confident with your new goal.

Now when you go out to meet people or women you will overall feel accomplished or on the path to success. You know what your goals are and you know how to achieve them. There are two goals/needs or desires, whatever you wanna name them, that affect human beings strongly. First is the emotional need or the need to love and be loved. To be admired by other people and to feel wanted. The second is to be financially secure, earn respect in the professional field and have stability in life.

The above exercise if done as described will help you feel secure in both personal/emotional and financial/social arenas. Even if you are not there yet you know you will be because you have made a detailed plan. You have thought of alternates to reach your goal/s and you have an intermediate plan to support yourself while you work to accomplish your goal/s.

Now when you interact with people you will speak from a different place and a different perspective. You will be calm and at ease inside and this will reflect in your speech and body language.

I will continue tomorrow...

Twitter Test

I am testing a tool to publish my blog posting URL on Tweeter automaticall so you can get notified on your phone or email when I make a new entry on my blog. This way you will always stay in the loop.
Let's see if it works :)

When To Kiss A Girl

This is a sample video from the Social Mastery Ebook where I tell when is the right time to initiate the kiss. Subscribe to my youtube channel if you haven't already to recieve auto updates of new videos I post. There are lots of free prizes including Ebook and Personal coaching for FREE. Check out www.youtube.com/magicssocialskills for more info.

Is Your Past Affecting You? Part-3

The next step is to get rid of your artificial behavior and become real. Whatever habit or shield you were using to hide your insecurity, let go of it. Sometime people try to act macho or super alpha so no one can pick on them any more. Sometime people become super pushy because they are tired of hearing No's. Some people start distancing themselves from every relation because they do not want to make a fool of themselves any more. Whatever you did get rid of it.

It is OK to be real. it is OK to get hurt. It is OK to feel vulnerable and it is absolutely OK to feel alive. Stop being robotic and close down. Experience new things in life. Take risks including the ones that might include the risk of making a fool of yourself. Stop worrying about what people have to say and live the life that makes you happy. When I was a kid, as part of my play routine, I used to enact scenes from the movies I watched. Sometimes my parents and their friends would laugh at my silliness but I was to young to understand the meaning of the word embarrassment. I was lost in my own world and continued despite their reaction. I used to be happy.

Then I grew up. I started to feel and experience embarrassment. I stopped doing everything that could cause me any embarrassment. As a result I hurt my self really bad. I failed at school, I failed in business, I failed in all kind relationships and failed in life in general. My life was so horrible that I tried to commit suicide. I was unhappy because I was not able to do things my way. trying to win every body's approval just wasn't working for me.

Things have changed now. I have once again become that little boy. I do not care for what other people think of me. I am pure in my heart and do not hurt anyone. Other than that what I do is my business and once again I sleep every night with a smile on my face.

When I moved to US I was getting no success with women. You must have already read in the Social Mastery book how I used to cry every night for I was suffering. I suffered for full two years because I did not have the courage to change things. Than I became a child again. I started to learn. Lot of my friends thought I was weird for trying to learn how to date women. Some of them stopped talking to me. Well guess what? Almost every friend who ridiculed me then now comes to me for advice. Yes once again I sleep with a huge smile on my face every night.

So stop worrying about other people. Act real. Be honest to yourself. If they do not like who you are it is their problem at least you will be happy. Do not hesitate to show the real you to women when you meet them. If you love yourself they will love you. When I tell my story to women they admire me for they see that I had the courage to change my life for good. So many people including hundreds of beautiful women suffer all the time but do not have the courage to change.

These women can admire me because I am open to let them see me. I am open to share my embarrassment with them and I am not ashamed of my past or present. This makes me more trustworthy and real. They can connect with me.

If you want true honest full filling relationships be honest and be open. Don't pretend to be someone else. Instead love who you are.

In the next part I will talk about how to appreciate who you are. I will also discuss how to present the real you so people can get to know and appreciate you.

Condom commercial Halarious

I saw this silly commercial and couldn't help but post it on my site. Really funny :)

Is Your Past Affecting You? Part-2

The first step now is to look into your past and make a list of negative experiences. Then think why they won't apply to you any more or what you need to do to not experience them again. For example you might say that I have now read the Social Mastery E-Book and know how to generate value. As a result women will date me and therefore I will have different results from the past. Or if you feel you have not taken enough steps to remedy it then take action. Read the book or take the coaching session or whatever help you need and from whoever. You do not have to buy my products or service just because you like to read my blog.

Remind yourself of the time or person who experienced positive results in the area that affects you negatively. May be you met a woman few months back and there was a spark (even if it did not go too far---remember you may not have the skills or the knowledge at the time to handle it). Then tell yourself if it happened then, it can happen again. You just need to understand the process and practice it. Or may be you look at someone like me and say if Magic can learn to be successful with women there is no reason why I can't. Then experience the magic of your new belief system.

Inner game is very important in order to succeed with women or any other field. My teachings here can be successfully applied to any area of your life like work, business, sports and networking etc. This is the reason why first part of my book helps you strengthen your Inner Game. The same thing I do in my workshops. If you have strong Inner Game you will have strong personality. If you have strong personality you will have strong presence. If you have strong presence you will have strong attraction. As a consequence you will have beautiful and healthy women in your life.

Use this exercise to improve any area of your life that makes you feel insecure. Repeat this exercise as often as you can.

I will continue with the topic in my next post.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Hope this year brings you lot of happiness, success, peace and prosperity! Oh and lot of beautiful women as well ;)

Is Your Past Affecting You? Part-1

Let go of your past! You will never be able to grow in any field if you continue to live under the shadow of your past. Things are changing - You are changing. Your life is improving. It is becoming better. This improvement is happening because you are making a conscious effort.

Like most of us here you probably have an upsetting past. You are probably used to getting rejected and not being wanted as much as you liked. You are probably used to girls giving you less attention, fake numbers or not showing up on dates. But that was your past. Lot has changed since then. You have learnt and put to practice so much material on social skills. (If you haven't then you should start right away.) You are bound to get different more positive experience soon if you haven't already. It just takes one positive experience for your new belief system to start forming and for the old one to shatter.

I see so many students not giving their 100% because they still do not believe in themselves. There is hesitation in their voice, body language and eye contact when they ask a girl on a date or for her number. They hesitate to initiate touching and there is hesitation when they go for the kiss. This hesitation is picked by the woman. This tells her you are not confidant and she backs off. If you do not believe in yourself why should anybody else?

You can also notice guys making similar mistakes when they are in the set or on the phone, email, text and date. They are very focused to be perfect and to ensure they make no mistakes. They shoot routine after routine, follow the training step by step like a robot but still often end up disappointed.

What happens is they try too hard and come across as flawless which tells women that something is wrong. Or they become the entertainer and do not establish harmony so there is no bonding. They do not gauge women's reactions so they miscalibrate.

I will post the solution in my next post.

Taking Short Cut

In our life we often think about taking shortcuts. I was just about to take one myself. I was a little frustrated with certain task related to my business. I wanted to get to the outcome sooner. In last few days I was thinking about accomplishing those tasks and decided that I will take a short cut. I decided to take some measures which I probably would not do or recommend others ordinarily. But because I was frustrated and impatient I was willing to make a compromise. I was willing to compromise my principals.

As always nature came to my rescue. It always does. (Yes I am a firm believer in nature and force.) Out of no where I decided to watch "How To Lose Friends & Alienate People". The movie is about successful people being so unhappy because they compromised their principals to succeed.

I couldn't be reminded of this message at a better time than today. I would have hated myself for the rest of my life had I taken this short cut to success. It suddenly dawned to me that I started coaching because I was tired of people who were compromising their principals and their students' success for personal gains. What difference will there be between me and them if I followed the same path.

Further I also realized that had I started taking short cuts I would have started to become outcome dependent and not enjoy the process. And I realize that I would have stepped on a downward spiral. If you truly want to do some activity in the long run you have to enjoy it in the process and not be outcome dependent.

In fact I teach this all the time. I insist in my book Social Mastery to not to take short cuts. I insist the same in my personal coachings. Had I taken the short cut today I would have never been able to look into someone's eyes said "do not take the short cut".

I am so thankful for I was saved from making this mistake. And as ashamed as I am I needed to blog about this for two reasons:

1. 
   
   Because I wanted to set it in the open that I would never think about taking short cuts again.


2. 
   
   I want all my students and followers of the blog to learn from this as well.

“Try not to become a man of success rather try to become a man of value.”

–Albert Einstein

Calibration

One of the areas that many students struggle is with their calibration. Many students approach sets as if they were blindfolded. They do not pay attention how the target is responding. They are so focused on delivering their routines and demonstrating value that they completely ignore the responses of their target. Sometimes they are too insecure to pay attention because they think what if she does not like what I am saying. Sometimes guys are too focused to prove how alpha and dominating they are. At other times they just want to be the funny guy so they can woo the woman with their charm.

Women pick up on this insecurity real quick. This often leads to sets dying, women walking away, or the set lasting for an hour but without buildup of any sexual tension.

The reason this happens is because students are too focused on practicing how to deliver routines. In their mind mastering perfect delivery of funny routines will get them the woman. This is partially true but there is a bigger fact that most men ignore or do not understand. A big part of the equation is building comfort with the woman you are attracted to. This starts by you feeling comfortable around beautiful woman. If you feel comfortable around her she will feel comfortable around you. If she shit tests you and you continue to regurgitate your high value routine you are mis-calibrating. If she is already attracted to you and you keep bringing her value down instead of showing her approval you have mis-calibrated again.

Calibration is timely and appropriate response to woman's action. If she teases you than you tease her back but if she says she loves you and wants to marry you do not tell her to add some color in her hair. A good way to practice calibration is to establish some platonic friendship with women. Now that you do not have to game them you will be responding to appropriately. You will pay attention to their words and sometimes the meaning behind their words. You will use this information to respond to them. Once you master calibration with friends incorporate into your sets and see how well your sets will progress.

Now you do not have to establish platonic friendship with women necessarily to master calibration. You can of course practice this in your sets but make sure you don't get too nervous, conscious or stressed when you are doing a set. Practicing calibration requires you are calm so you can listen and respond appropriately. This sometimes is hard for beginner students.

One Year Anniversary!

Today the day of Christmas is also the day Social Skills Institute was born! I had registered the domain exactly one year back on December 25, 2007. I did not even realize it until few weeks back when I was managing my domains.

It is a happy day for me and to share the happiness I have every downloadable product available for half the price just for today. Go to the product page by clicking here. Then select the product and email me the one you want and I will send you the link to download it for half the price.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays And Happy One Year Anniversary!

When is a set over?

A set is never over till it is over. I see many guys including some gurus who end up leaving the set at the first sign of a negative message. I discuss this in Social Mastery book. Women often give you negative message to see how you handle it. Are you confidant to continue or you will run at the sign of the first negative sign. This is there way to make sure you are truly a confidant guy and not some poser. This is also good news for you because this means she is starting to notice your traits and getting attracted to you.

This might sometimes happen right when you approach a woman. You use a canned opener and she busts you. Or she just decides to accuse you to be a player or a playboy. How you react will determine how far you will go with this woman. When a woman accuses you or catches you in the act. Be a man confess it, laugh at it and continue. Don't run, don't fidget and don't shake.

Few months back one of my student had to face the same situation. He opened a set and she just got opened with the same opener. I jumped into the set and handled the situation by confessing that yes it was a canned opener. I continued by saying " even if it was a cheesy, corny or over used line, I am still paying you a compliment. so need to be upset. It is not easy for us to approach women.". That was it. Everything changed. She apologized for her behavior and started touching me. I can write a book on my experiences where I have seen women turn around in a set after initial negative messages.

Remember you gain nothing by walking out of a set prematurely. Continue and let them walk away. If they are not interested in you they do not have to be around you. A woman who complains about something or gives you a negative message is either trying to test you or hoping you will take an alternate route and get her. Access the situation, use your judgement and respond.

It is never over until it is over.

Today's Women Are Sexually Open Minded

One of the main themes I explore in Social Mastery and in my coaching is that women are as confident as men. Today's woman live their their life to the fullest and desire sex as much as men do. I have posted an article in the archive section which discusses the study which revealed that women are as sexual as men. You can read it here.
Now a new study on myths of cheating reveals a similar theme. The study states:

"While baby-boomer men do cheat more, women in their 20s and 30s have
affairs just as frequently as men their age, according to new research. One
reason: More women are working. When you have a job, you've got more financial freedom, which could make you more comfortable taking a gamble with your
relationship".

You can read the complete article here.
This is another proof that men should not feel uncomfortable when getting sexual with women because most women want sex just as well. There is no need to hide your sexual desires and play games. If you want an open relationship or date multiple women or have sex in the public bathroom chances are she wants it too.

Free Hour Long Video On Kino Escalation!

Did you guys already download the FREE kino escalation video? If you have not you better do it as soon as possible because it won't be free any more as of January 1, 2009.
In this video I discuss how to use kino escalation to seduce women. I also demonstrate multiple kino routines I personally use in the field. This video is super rich in content.
Everyone who downloaded it has really enjoyed it so don't miss the opportunity. Here is a sample clip:

You can download the video here.

Mistakes beginners make while entering in a bar!

I see many beginners making a common mistake when they first enter a bar or any other social venue. They will stop right away look into every woman's eyes to see who responds well. Then they will go to the bar get their drink and start approaching women or not.

This is a very wrong thing to do. You lose value instantly in the eyes of women. This is because your scan almost comes across as approval seeking. You come across insecure. It almost conveys that "If a woman responds well then I will approach". Now I am not suggesting to not to make eye contact with women. Making eye contact is very powerful and you should always do it. I am simply mentioning not to make eye contact with every woman while scanning the venue. It comes across as knocking on every door hoping one will open. This is bad game.

When I enter a bar or any other social value I pause briefly upon entry and scan the environment of the room. I don't make eye contact for I don't care who is there. By pausing I let everyone notice my entry while I scan the room. Make sure you have strong body language at this time. Generally you will notice women and also notice which one is checking you out using your peripheral vision. Then you can either go to the bar and get a drink or start talking to the group most immediate to you. This looks powerful. You have given women time to notice you. You have showed no interest in them so you are there to have a good time and not just get laid. You are not afraid of the crowd and attention for you stop right at a place where everyone can notice you and this not bother you. This shows you are confidant and alpha. After that it seems very natural that you are talking to whoever comes your way and in the process you meet this woman.

I also want to caution that I am not suggesting you be ashamed of your intention to meet women or try to hide it. I am just trying to help you not come across needy.

Hope this helps!

P.S. If you are a beginner I highly recommend you to start talking to the very first group and as many groups as you can. This way you come across social and not prowling for women.

Twitter

Guys I also ended up joining twitter so I can stay in touch with everyone from the road. Meet me on my twitter: http://twitter.com/bestdatingtips

Absence

Sorry I had been absent for a while. I had way too many things going from my uncle's surgery to starting my company. things are starting to settle down and I should be able to post regularly from now on.

Fashion

In this episode I have explained how you can use fashion to attract beautiful women. The fashion industry has already spent money to make certain looks sexy. All we have to do is adopt those looks so girls are attracted to us.

iTunes

Hey Guys,
I have a good news. My iTunes account just got approved. So from now on you will be able to download my free dating, attraction and seduction tips from iTunes. Trust me it wasn't easy getting it up there but worth all the effort :)

You can subscribe to my podcast by visiting: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=291735545

Enjoy!