Is Your Past Affecting You? Part-1

Let go of your past! You will never be able to grow in any field if you continue to live under the shadow of your past. Things are changing - You are changing. Your life is improving. It is becoming better. This improvement is happening because you are making a conscious effort.

Like most of us here you probably have an upsetting past. You are probably used to getting rejected and not being wanted as much as you liked. You are probably used to girls giving you less attention, fake numbers or not showing up on dates. But that was your past. Lot has changed since then. You have learnt and put to practice so much material on social skills. (If you haven't then you should start right away.) You are bound to get different more positive experience soon if you haven't already. It just takes one positive experience for your new belief system to start forming and for the old one to shatter.

I see so many students not giving their 100% because they still do not believe in themselves. There is hesitation in their voice, body language and eye contact when they ask a girl on a date or for her number. They hesitate to initiate touching and there is hesitation when they go for the kiss. This hesitation is picked by the woman. This tells her you are not confidant and she backs off. If you do not believe in yourself why should anybody else?

You can also notice guys making similar mistakes when they are in the set or on the phone, email, text and date. They are very focused to be perfect and to ensure they make no mistakes. They shoot routine after routine, follow the training step by step like a robot but still often end up disappointed.

What happens is they try too hard and come across as flawless which tells women that something is wrong. Or they become the entertainer and do not establish harmony so there is no bonding. They do not gauge women's reactions so they miscalibrate.

I will post the solution in my next post.

Taking Short Cut

In our life we often think about taking shortcuts. I was just about to take one myself. I was a little frustrated with certain task related to my business. I wanted to get to the outcome sooner. In last few days I was thinking about accomplishing those tasks and decided that I will take a short cut. I decided to take some measures which I probably would not do or recommend others ordinarily. But because I was frustrated and impatient I was willing to make a compromise. I was willing to compromise my principals.

As always nature came to my rescue. It always does. (Yes I am a firm believer in nature and force.) Out of no where I decided to watch "How To Lose Friends & Alienate People". The movie is about successful people being so unhappy because they compromised their principals to succeed.

I couldn't be reminded of this message at a better time than today. I would have hated myself for the rest of my life had I taken this short cut to success. It suddenly dawned to me that I started coaching because I was tired of people who were compromising their principals and their students' success for personal gains. What difference will there be between me and them if I followed the same path.

Further I also realized that had I started taking short cuts I would have started to become outcome dependent and not enjoy the process. And I realize that I would have stepped on a downward spiral. If you truly want to do some activity in the long run you have to enjoy it in the process and not be outcome dependent.

In fact I teach this all the time. I insist in my book Social Mastery to not to take short cuts. I insist the same in my personal coachings. Had I taken the short cut today I would have never been able to look into someone's eyes said "do not take the short cut".

I am so thankful for I was saved from making this mistake. And as ashamed as I am I needed to blog about this for two reasons:

1. 
   
   Because I wanted to set it in the open that I would never think about taking short cuts again.


2. 
   
   I want all my students and followers of the blog to learn from this as well.

“Try not to become a man of success rather try to become a man of value.”

–Albert Einstein

Calibration

One of the areas that many students struggle is with their calibration. Many students approach sets as if they were blindfolded. They do not pay attention how the target is responding. They are so focused on delivering their routines and demonstrating value that they completely ignore the responses of their target. Sometimes they are too insecure to pay attention because they think what if she does not like what I am saying. Sometimes guys are too focused to prove how alpha and dominating they are. At other times they just want to be the funny guy so they can woo the woman with their charm.

Women pick up on this insecurity real quick. This often leads to sets dying, women walking away, or the set lasting for an hour but without buildup of any sexual tension.

The reason this happens is because students are too focused on practicing how to deliver routines. In their mind mastering perfect delivery of funny routines will get them the woman. This is partially true but there is a bigger fact that most men ignore or do not understand. A big part of the equation is building comfort with the woman you are attracted to. This starts by you feeling comfortable around beautiful woman. If you feel comfortable around her she will feel comfortable around you. If she shit tests you and you continue to regurgitate your high value routine you are mis-calibrating. If she is already attracted to you and you keep bringing her value down instead of showing her approval you have mis-calibrated again.

Calibration is timely and appropriate response to woman's action. If she teases you than you tease her back but if she says she loves you and wants to marry you do not tell her to add some color in her hair. A good way to practice calibration is to establish some platonic friendship with women. Now that you do not have to game them you will be responding to appropriately. You will pay attention to their words and sometimes the meaning behind their words. You will use this information to respond to them. Once you master calibration with friends incorporate into your sets and see how well your sets will progress.

Now you do not have to establish platonic friendship with women necessarily to master calibration. You can of course practice this in your sets but make sure you don't get too nervous, conscious or stressed when you are doing a set. Practicing calibration requires you are calm so you can listen and respond appropriately. This sometimes is hard for beginner students.

One Year Anniversary!

Today the day of Christmas is also the day Social Skills Institute was born! I had registered the domain exactly one year back on December 25, 2007. I did not even realize it until few weeks back when I was managing my domains.

It is a happy day for me and to share the happiness I have every downloadable product available for half the price just for today. Go to the product page by clicking here. Then select the product and email me the one you want and I will send you the link to download it for half the price.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays And Happy One Year Anniversary!

When is a set over?

A set is never over till it is over. I see many guys including some gurus who end up leaving the set at the first sign of a negative message. I discuss this in Social Mastery book. Women often give you negative message to see how you handle it. Are you confidant to continue or you will run at the sign of the first negative sign. This is there way to make sure you are truly a confidant guy and not some poser. This is also good news for you because this means she is starting to notice your traits and getting attracted to you.

This might sometimes happen right when you approach a woman. You use a canned opener and she busts you. Or she just decides to accuse you to be a player or a playboy. How you react will determine how far you will go with this woman. When a woman accuses you or catches you in the act. Be a man confess it, laugh at it and continue. Don't run, don't fidget and don't shake.

Few months back one of my student had to face the same situation. He opened a set and she just got opened with the same opener. I jumped into the set and handled the situation by confessing that yes it was a canned opener. I continued by saying " even if it was a cheesy, corny or over used line, I am still paying you a compliment. so need to be upset. It is not easy for us to approach women.". That was it. Everything changed. She apologized for her behavior and started touching me. I can write a book on my experiences where I have seen women turn around in a set after initial negative messages.

Remember you gain nothing by walking out of a set prematurely. Continue and let them walk away. If they are not interested in you they do not have to be around you. A woman who complains about something or gives you a negative message is either trying to test you or hoping you will take an alternate route and get her. Access the situation, use your judgement and respond.

It is never over until it is over.

Today's Women Are Sexually Open Minded

One of the main themes I explore in Social Mastery and in my coaching is that women are as confident as men. Today's woman live their their life to the fullest and desire sex as much as men do. I have posted an article in the archive section which discusses the study which revealed that women are as sexual as men. You can read it here.
Now a new study on myths of cheating reveals a similar theme. The study states:

"While baby-boomer men do cheat more, women in their 20s and 30s have
affairs just as frequently as men their age, according to new research. One
reason: More women are working. When you have a job, you've got more financial freedom, which could make you more comfortable taking a gamble with your
relationship".

You can read the complete article here.
This is another proof that men should not feel uncomfortable when getting sexual with women because most women want sex just as well. There is no need to hide your sexual desires and play games. If you want an open relationship or date multiple women or have sex in the public bathroom chances are she wants it too.

Free Hour Long Video On Kino Escalation!

Did you guys already download the FREE kino escalation video? If you have not you better do it as soon as possible because it won't be free any more as of January 1, 2009.
In this video I discuss how to use kino escalation to seduce women. I also demonstrate multiple kino routines I personally use in the field. This video is super rich in content.
Everyone who downloaded it has really enjoyed it so don't miss the opportunity. Here is a sample clip:

You can download the video here.

Mistakes beginners make while entering in a bar!

I see many beginners making a common mistake when they first enter a bar or any other social venue. They will stop right away look into every woman's eyes to see who responds well. Then they will go to the bar get their drink and start approaching women or not.

This is a very wrong thing to do. You lose value instantly in the eyes of women. This is because your scan almost comes across as approval seeking. You come across insecure. It almost conveys that "If a woman responds well then I will approach". Now I am not suggesting to not to make eye contact with women. Making eye contact is very powerful and you should always do it. I am simply mentioning not to make eye contact with every woman while scanning the venue. It comes across as knocking on every door hoping one will open. This is bad game.

When I enter a bar or any other social value I pause briefly upon entry and scan the environment of the room. I don't make eye contact for I don't care who is there. By pausing I let everyone notice my entry while I scan the room. Make sure you have strong body language at this time. Generally you will notice women and also notice which one is checking you out using your peripheral vision. Then you can either go to the bar and get a drink or start talking to the group most immediate to you. This looks powerful. You have given women time to notice you. You have showed no interest in them so you are there to have a good time and not just get laid. You are not afraid of the crowd and attention for you stop right at a place where everyone can notice you and this not bother you. This shows you are confidant and alpha. After that it seems very natural that you are talking to whoever comes your way and in the process you meet this woman.

I also want to caution that I am not suggesting you be ashamed of your intention to meet women or try to hide it. I am just trying to help you not come across needy.

Hope this helps!

P.S. If you are a beginner I highly recommend you to start talking to the very first group and as many groups as you can. This way you come across social and not prowling for women.

Twitter

Guys I also ended up joining twitter so I can stay in touch with everyone from the road. Meet me on my twitter: http://twitter.com/bestdatingtips

Absence

Sorry I had been absent for a while. I had way too many things going from my uncle's surgery to starting my company. things are starting to settle down and I should be able to post regularly from now on.

Fashion

In this episode I have explained how you can use fashion to attract beautiful women. The fashion industry has already spent money to make certain looks sexy. All we have to do is adopt those looks so girls are attracted to us.

iTunes

Hey Guys,
I have a good news. My iTunes account just got approved. So from now on you will be able to download my free dating, attraction and seduction tips from iTunes. Trust me it wasn't easy getting it up there but worth all the effort :)

You can subscribe to my podcast by visiting: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=291735545

Enjoy!

10 signs that a woman is attracted to you!

In my EBook Social Mastery I explained that there are two ways for testing if the girl you are trying to seduce is attracted to you or not. You do this first by reading her body language and second by running attraction tests from the Social Mastery book.

It is very important to continually keep testing the level of this girl’s attraction. If you move forward into kissing or trying to seduce her when she is not attracted, you will run the risk of creeping her out. On the contrary if she is already attracted to you and you keep running attraction material she will get bored or if you keep teasing her you will come across as rude and she will be gone.

Below are the ten most important body language clues you will notice if she is attracted to you:

1. She is always looking at you

2. She smiles

3. She makes efforts to get your attention

4. She plays with her hair

5. Starts or maintains conversation

6. She laughs at your jokes

7. Inquires about your hobbies and personal life

8. She compliments you

9. Comfortable with sexual discussion

10 Gets physical with you

Pay attention to these signs and use them to calibrate with women. Master the skills of testing attraction and you will soon be waking up with naked beautiful women in your bed!

10 Excuses for not approaching women.

This probably is the most overly discussed topic yet the most important topic. I was coaching this student last night. He told me he was real afraid of approaching women and in his mind he cannot attract beautiful women. I asked him to write a list of things he is afraid of. When we discussed that list it was obvious that his fears were nothing but excuses. In fact for a long time I labeled my excuses as fears as well. But now I know that most of your fears are mere excuses or myths and if you do not push yourself to face them you will spend most of your life hurting. So one more time I am listing some of these excuses here from my book “Social Mastery”. Hope you read them and make a commitment to get rid of your excuses, take action and approach those beautiful women. Make a promise right now to approach two women today after reading this post.

Here are some excuses or internal conflicts that prevent us from making the move:

1. I am not good looking.
Most guys are not good looking, and most women are more attracted to personality than looks. In fact, good looks in men has its own set of challenges. They come across as players and women don't trust them. I cannot tell you how often I have to bring my value down when I am not even good looking. If you display qualities that women are attracted to (I will discuss under attraction), nothing else matters. Remember Seal marrying Heidi Klum! Do I need to say more? So you know there are factors other than looks that can get you the Woman. Infact, these other factors are what get you the woman MOST of the time.

2. Everyone will laugh at me when I get rejected.
Only if you act rejected. No one knows you got rejected unless you leave the set crushed. When a set ends or you get rejected, be a man, smile, shake hands, and say it was nice talking to you anyways, have fun and leave with a smile on your face. Besides, women usually are very polite when they reject you. And if they do, NO BIG DEAL! Everyone including me gets rejected.

3. She probably has a boyfriend.
She probably does, she probably does not! And it means nothing. She might be dating him to land that role she has been dying to get or because she has not met anyone like you yet but she does not want to come across as a loser by being single. I could publish a whole book with stories of women leaving their boyfriend and husbands for
someone else.

4. That guy is probably her boyfriend.
Only way to find out is by approaching her. If he is her boyfriend, he won't kill you. Remember, 8 out of 10 times the guy will be her friend because women do not go out alone and they feel more secure with a guy to prevent the losers from approaching them. In fact, approaching a woman who is with guys raises your value. You have to be a confident, ballsy guy to be able to do that.

Recently, I was with a student. I sent him to open a set on the dance floor. This woman was with three guys. I was at a distance when he opened the set. Five minutes later I saw him surrounded with three guys and I thought he needed help. I walk into the set and find out that these three guys are traveling from Europe and that woman was with them. In a short time, they had become good friends with my student and also ended up telling him that she was single and that he should make the move. Now I have to admit, had I realized early on that she was with three guys, I probably would have not sent this student to open her, this being his first time in the field, but then I would have done a huge disservice to him. Valuable lesson learned! Go open and don't worry about dynamics. Let it play out! You'll be surprised!

5. She will think poorly of me if I approach her. I will lose value for approaching her.
Au contraire. She will have more respect for you for approaching her than not approaching her. After all, they go out themselves to meet men. I was once recording live pick up in a bar. A group of women approached me. We had a discussion on this and they agreed that they would rather have guys approach them then not approach them. In fact, can you imagine how crushed they will be if no one approaches them! You are only respecting them by approaching them. They know it and will only confess it to confident men.

6. She spotted me making out with other girl.
Congratulations! You have real high value in her eyes! Women love a man that other women want as well. That is why all the rock stars get laid all the time. In fact, you will lose value if you don't flirt with other women. One of my ex-girlfriends confessed that she would always let her boyfriend flirt with other women because it increased his
confidence and her jealousy level which resulted in good sex. No need to apologize for being sexual!

7. I don't have much to say.
Not after reading this book and doing the exercises I ask you to do! You will have enough material to use. And if not, you will create it while in action.

8. She is sitting in the corner by the wall.
Good new—seduction will be easy. You don't have to look for an isolated corner to make out with her and this will also ensure less distraction. Also, if she is sitting in a corner, chances are she is shy, so you will need to do more talking at first. It also means she has not been approached much that night. It also means she will thank you for helping her have fun or she would have been bored the entire night. I cannot insist any stronger than this: WOMEN ARE DYING FOR YOU TO APPROACH THEM! THEY WANT THE SAME THING YOU DO! So be a Man and seduce her. She will thank you for that!

9. I am not in the mood.
Excellent—go and talk to her to get out of the gloomy mood you are caught in. And for Christ sake, stop making the damn excuses!

10. I'll start tomorrow.
There is no tomorrow! Back when I was going to school in New Jersey, I was living in a town house. We were four guys and four girls in the house. I was very attracted to a girl and initially she was attracted to me as well. One night there was a senior party. She asked me if I was coming and “I was not in the mood”. There was tomorrow to seduce
her. My roommate ended up making the move at her while partying with her. I was pissed the entire night hearing him having sex with her. AND REMEMBER TOMORROW YOU WILL AGAIN SAY “I'LL START TOMORROW!”

I can only give you advise, I cannot make you go and do what you are supposed to do. Need motivation? Go and read to page 30 from the Social Mastery book and read the bullet points. The sooner you start your journey, the sooner you will reach your destination. Everything else can wait!

RULE:
From now on, anytime you have an excuse as to why you should not approach the woman, you have to approach her just to prove yourself that you were not making an excuse.

Day Game Montage

In this video I demonstrate how an ethnic man can transform and attract beautiful women. Visit http://www.socialskillsinstitute.com/ to find out more on how I do it.

Number close perfect 10 in 45 seconds

In this video I approached and attracted a beautiful girl using the direct opener from my Social Mastery book. I got her REAL number in approx 45 seconds!